My Family & Me
SEASON 3
Episode 40: Pokémon

WARNING:
This show contains explicit language and should not be read if under the age of 15. You have been warned

Characters:
Chase Reilly
William Reilly
Ray Reilly
Steven Reilly
Clare Reilly
Emily Reilly
Evelyn Smith
Sarah Peterson
Marcus Reilly

Meanwhile inside the house:

Ray was sitting down with a rod

William: “So Ray, what kind of fucked up thought came inside your head now?”

Ray: “I’m going to be a Pokémon master”

William: “You do know you can just buy a Game Boy”

Ray: “No, I want to be a real life Pokémon trainer, like Ash”

William: “Pokémon don’t exist”

Ray: “Not unless I keep fishing”

William: “You’re fishing off a bucket with tap water!!!”

Ray: “I’m going to get a Magikarp”

William: “Good luck with that”

Later:

Ray: “I CAUGHT HIM!!!”

William: “What the fuck!?”

Ray: “See I told you I’d catch one”

William: “How is this possible!?”

Ray: “I better train him with a professional”

William: “Yeah, go out into the forest and find Pokémon”

Ray: “Great idea. You can come with me”

William: “NO!!”

Ray: “Fine I’ll go on my own”

William: “Don’t get lost”

Ray: “It’s o.k. I’ve got my map”

William: “It’s just a piece of paper saying ‘You’re lost’

Ray: “West it is”

Ray left:

Sarah: “Ray, what about Marcus?”

William: “I completely forget we had a child in this house”

Sarah: “I better go and become a Pokémon trainer myself”

William: “What about Marcus?”

Sarah: “Who?”

William: “Yeah best you leave him with me”

The next day:

Ray returned with a Gyarados and a Charmander next to him

William: “WHAT THE FUCK!!!??” “WHERE DID YOU FIND THOSE!!?”

Ray: “In the forest”

Then Sarah returned with a Bulbasaur and a Pidgey

Chase walked in and saw the Pokémon

Chase: “Yeah I’m staying out of this one” “Have fun William”

William: “How is this possible?” “Who trained that fish!?”

Ray: “His name was Magikarp”

William: “That wasn’t the question”

Ray: “I trained him in that forest”

William: “O.k. then, how did you get those Poke Balls?”

Ray: “In a Pokemart” “Duh!!”

William: “Where the fuck is a Pokemart?” “I’ve never seen a Pokemart”

Ray: “Fine I’ll show you”

Ray took William into a forest:

Ray showed a portal:

William: “Oh, this explains a lot”

Ray jumped in

William: “Fuck it”

William jumped in the portal

Meanwhile inside Pokémon:

William: “What the fuck!?”

Ray: “See, right there”

William: “This looks like the red version”

Meanwhile inside the house:

Chase: “After seeing those Pokémon, it’s about time I started a new profile”

Chase picked up his Game Boy

Chase: “I feel like playing Red”

Chase started a new profile:

Chase: “I’ll call him William” “Hey he looks just like him”

William: “What the fuck!?” “Who’s playing me?”

Chase: “It’s me Chase”

William: “Chase!!!! What the fuck is going on here!?”

Chase: “No idea, but have fun being a Pokémon Master”

William: “I DON’T EVEN LIKE POKEMON!!!!”

Chase: “Now pick Charmander”

William: “I want Bulbasaur”

Chase: “Too bad”

William: “Can I at least move where I want to go!!!” “When you move the D-pad it shocks me in your direction”

Chase: “NO!!!”

*Later inside the city*

Chase: “Hey look there is Ray, GET HIM!!!”

William: “Charmander use Flame thrower”

Ray: “Charmander, use Leer”

*Charmander Fainted*

William: “Dude you suck!!!”

Ray: “Oh no, I’ll have to use Gyarados”

Ray sent out Gyarados:

William: “Pikachu, I choose you!!”

Chase: “Oh come on that line’s been used a million times”

William: “Pikachu, use thunderbolt”

Ray: “Gyarados, use Bite”

William: “REALLY!?” “You could have used Dragon rage or Hyper beam or outrage but instead you choose bite”

*Gyarados fainted*

Ray: “Aww man I lost, I’ll have to give you some money”

Ray gave William $2,500

William: “You’re not meant to give me ALL of your money!!”

Ray: “Oh”

William: “I’m still keeping it”

*Later*

Brock: “Go Onix”

William: “Go Charizard!!!”

Onix: “FUCK THIS!!!”

Onix ran off

Brock: “Well… That’s never happened before”

William: “Just like your sex life”

Brock: “Shut up!!”

William: “Now to go to that red headed bitch”

*Later*

William: “Pikachu zap those water fuck thingy’s”

Misty: “I wish I could fuck a guy”

William: “What about Brock?”

Misty: “I said a guy”

William: “Ash?”

Misty: “I SAID A GUY!!”

William: “Surge?”

Misty: “Look bottom line; there are NO guys in Pokémon”

William: “All though there are plenty of hot chicks in Pokémon”

Misty: “Like me?”

William: “I said HOT chicks didn’t I”?

Later Ray popped up

William: “Ray how did you leave here?”

Ray: “The guy who was using me changed profile after I pulled down my pants”

William: “CHASE, CHANGE PROFILES!!!”

Chase: “But I don’t want to”

William: “Why don’t you just use Ray?”

Chase: “Nice thinking”

*Later*

Chase: “Now Ray I want you to verse Moltress”

Ray: “But I’ve only got a Magikarp”

Chase: “Yes but Magikarp is a water type Pokémon. Moltress is a fire type”

Ray: “Oh yes nice thinking” “Wait but my Magikarp is only level 5. Moltress is level 50”

Chase: “But remove the 0 and you’re both level 5”

Ray: “Nice thinking Chase” “Magikarp, use splash”

Moltress got angry:

Ray: “Uh oh”

Moltress used Flame thrower

Ray: “MY FACE IS BURNING!!!!”

William returned:

William: “Chase I bought Pokémon Red”

Chase: “Wait I thought you said you hated Pokémon?”

William: “Not when you get to kill Ray in it”

Chase: “Good point”

*Meanwhile in hell*

Satan: “Oh god here comes Ray”

Then a Game Boy fell down

Satan: “What the hell is this!?”

Satan turned it on

Satan: “Oh o.k. Ray got sucked into a Game Boy”

Ray pulled his pants down

Satan: “Into heaven you go”

Satan kicked the Game Boy up into Heaven

God: “Satan just sent me a Game Boy with my number #1 customer pulling down his pants, into Earth you go”

Then the Portal disappeared and Ray returned to Earth somehow:

William and Chase: “Aww” in disappointment